Oh boy.
It's been nearly three weeks since Michael died. I have been haunted by making a blog, as he was one of my number one musical idols. So, after taking much too long to do so, considering the 'music fanatic' I claim to be, I am going to make it simple, and hopefully poignant enough to really convey his genius and how much he inspired and moved me throughout my life
This video was on American Bandstand when I was four years old. I danced in front of the TV when it came on, and turned and told my grandma-"Grammy, I want to do that when I grow up".
My first LP was "Off The Wall"by Michael Jackson when I was 9 years old and roller disco-ing. I learned to sing and dance to it for hours in my bedroom. Another album - you might know it-Thriller, came out when I was 14, and of the MTV generation.
In short, I do not know my life, especially the musical history of my life, without Michael Jackson. I was/am so saddened that he is gone too soon.
He was a genius and I can confidently say that his music and voice are one of the top three of my musical loves and influences.
I realize too, that none of his musical genius makes him exempt from the faults of his personal issues and psychological problems. He should have taken responsibility for those. He was a little boy mentally, who never grew up emotionally. He didn't know how. That's no excuse, he should have sought help. He made his own bed of demise, unfortunately. And I believe it was so subconscious, he didn't see the slippery slide he really was on.
I don't believe he was a pedophile, rather someone who wished he could always be a little boy, and it somehow soothed him to be around that kind of simple, carefree mentality. Remember, he had alot of money and he was surrounded by ALOT of vultures who could give a shit less about him and who wanted some of that money. That's when things get really fucked up. And remember, when you think like a little boy with lots of money, you do what Michael did--push away those that really love and understand you, who want you to WORK on your issues and be careful with your money. But to Michael I think, that was no fun, and he would rather not take a look at himself and keep playing. Well....that's an easy way to lose sight of the shore of your life. He was scared and unschooled in the ways of adulthood. Not to mention an accidental and manipulative drug addict. The ultimate factor that led to his death. Kids are tricky little buggers, and when you have enough money and influence, you can get whatever you want, even if that "whatever you want", is ultimatley the thing that kills you.
In the end, I personally believe his personal life is separate from his music. His talent was his gift, and sharing it with us, was ours.
I love him and am honored and blessed that I got to live to experience his music. It has and will continue to bring me so much joy. And let this be another lesson to all of us, that no matter your fame, adulation, money, success, etc..we all die. This is not said to be morbid, but to inspire you to live everyday with gratitude and joy, because it can just go. Do not glamorize looks, money, material and hopes of adulation, instead take a good look at what's really important.
*And hey, on a musical note--- just look at these boys. Movin', groovin' and singin' their shit. Now THIS is performing! And Michael's hat and Tito's rocking out scarf---super cool 70's man!!!
Rest In Peace, my little singing boy
xoxo
