Trenny and Scott

Take a quick look at the 'older mate' couple's list below of people of notoriety.

Tony Randall and Heather Harlan. Tony, +50.
Wende and James Doohan. James, +37.
Faith and Lee Majors. Lee, +35.
Martha Raye and Mark Harris. Martha, +33.
Tony Bennett and Susan Crow. Tony, +33.
Ed McMahon and Pam Hurn. Ed, +32.
Elizabeth and Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, +31.
Donald Trump and Melania Knauss. Donald, +28.
Chuck Norris and Gena O'Kelley. Chuck, +28.
Norman Mailer and Norris Church. Norman, +26.
Paul McCartney and ex-wife Heather Mills. Paul, +26.
Clint and Dina Eastwood. Clint, +25.
Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Michael, +25.
Rod Stewart and ex-wife Rachel Hunter. Rod, +25.
Ivan Zelnicek Trump and Rossano Rubicondi. Ivana, +24.
Jeri and Fred Thompson. Fred, +24.
Pam Shriver and George Lazenby. George, +23.
Victoria Reggie and Ted Kennedy. Ted, +22.
Candy and Aaron Spelling. Aaron, +22.
Warren Beatty and Annette Bening. Warren, +21.
Francesa Annis and Ralph Fiennes. Francesa, +19.
Mary Tyler Moore and Dr. Robert Levine. Mary, +18.
Jerry Seinfeld and Jessica. Jerry, +18.
Tommy Lee Jones and Dawn Laurel. Tommy Lee, +18.
Cindy and John McCain. John, +17.
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Demi, +15.
Geena Davis and Dr. Reza Jarrahy. Geena, +15.
(ROCK ON GIRLS!)
Evi and Randy Quaid. Randy, +13.
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller. Charlie, +12.

Notice anything? Notice a huge double standard? Of course you do, it's as old as the hills. A rich man beds and marries hot young woman. But not just that. Average Joe's in their fifties marry and have children with women 20 plus years younger than them and stay together forever. These said men do not have to EVER defend themselves. They are not looked at as:

a)'Incapable of having a 'mature' relationship because said partner is not same age
b)Some irrational horn dog that just wants to lay young women
OR
c)Trying to hold onto his youth by being with someone younger.

There are a variety of other stereotypes that you have never heard any man defend. (Another good one is when a disagreement happens with us and you hear "Oh but he's so young, what did you expect?" Like he is still sucking a pacifier incapable of a healthy relationship-haha) Yet, wasn't it Demi Moore that went on Saturday Night Live during Ashton Kutchers's monologue dressed as some frumpy old grandma lady, so that they could make fun of all the grief she was getting for being a so called 'cougar' or a 'freak' for marrying someone 16 years younger? Poor girl. She is/was in love and the fact that she suffered while Michael Douglas screwed his brains away with a wife of 10 years who is 27 years younger, without one moment of defense, is truly sad to me. It's extremely racist and ridiculous.
And yes, this blog is about me. It's about me and my relationship with my boyfriend Scott, who is 16 years younger than me. I'm tired of the occasional look of 'seriously?' It is the first, the last and ONLY time I will ever talk about, or defend this age difference and our love to any of my friends, family or readers. (Luckily my family thinks age doesn't matter and supports me ,so that's all I would care about anyway- my family) Beyond what he and I feel is- like the spiritual nature of what they say about gossip- 'none of my business'.Why I am doing this blog is to have one lasting piece of sentiment from me about it, so if anyone has their judgments, curiosities, questions and doubts, you can refer here because I won't be discussing it again. This is also for my freind Michelle in Dallas who has been married for 13 years to who she calls her 'soulmate' who is 13 years younger- and ALL the women who have to keep quiet and deal with this stereotype.

I have had boyfriends. Yes with an 's'. I like being a girl and I like boys. Having taken a good hard look at myself over the past couple of years however, I can, with most certainty, say that I have only been truly in love twice. One with my first love at 18 and another (lucky me) with Scott. Oh yes, I have been an emotional dramatic girl over the years, to say the least (lol) and if you mix that with my past boy crazy nature, I have claimed to be in love with 'the one' numerous times. My sister can be my biggest witness (sorry Shannon-lol) But real love (not lust or neediness or obsession or an escape from loneliness or delusional thoughts of manufactured love) is something that I believe comes truly once or twice in your life. My first love was 2 years older than me.I did date 2 men that were significantly younger than me at different points ( one 12 years and one 8 years)Outside of that however, all my mates have been either same age or older. But you see, regardless of all that I like being who I am in all ways and that includes my age (41. My love and relationship with Scott has nothing to do with wanting to be younger NOR because I 'chase' (another word that is a gross stereotype) only 'young' men. I am also not a commitment phobe. I think committing yourself wholeheartedly to a relationship is one of the most beautiful gifts you can have in a a life. commitment is not any less sacrificial deep and real nor less hard work with a young OR old age. I would love Scott for who he is if he were 50. And the whole stereotype of it being less intellectual or emotionally challenging and meaningful because he's younger is PURE bullshit. Men I have dated that were much older have been alot less mature emotionally (and still are), so you can throw that theory out the window. And sex? It's not a sex thing either. It's sad that when the woman is older she is some sex freak in a 'peak' (hell I've been in a peak since age 12) that walks into a nightclub like an animal, rips open the door and grabs a 23 year old club kid to get her rocks off. Sex with anyone you love can be awesome and beautiful regardless of age. Scott's friends have been in the same long term relationships since their early 20's and a friend of his his, of the same age, is getting married in August, so trust me when I tell you that age has no significance in the emotional maturity and effective communication of a relationship. And listen, I have good genes, and many times feel that my particular relationship is simply a manifestation of 'like attracts like' and I am physically attracted to how I look and feel. Simple. Not everything is some Woody Allen deep physcological breakdown. I mean really. It's exhausting.
That's it. As I said, I will never speak of it, nor defend it again. I don't think it is something that even needs to be defended in the end, but I know there are naysayers and I wanted to make it clear where I stand on not only my life and my happiness, but the issue itself. How I truly think it is and that it should be a non issue. Love is love. Between a man and a monkey, boy and a boy, old and young, etc... Those of you in my life, I'd love it if you found joy out of my joy. But, if not, it wont change my happiness and anyway- I wouldn't want to share my life and joy with anyone who doesn't celebrate it with me.

Much love- me xoxo