Basic Truths
by anonymous

*I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

*There is great need for a sarcasm font.

*How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

*Was learning cursive really necessary?

*Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

*I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

*Bad decisions make good stories.

*You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

*Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

*I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

*I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

*I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

*I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Beer than Kay.

*I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

*Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

*I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

*The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

*How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

*I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

*Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

*Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

*Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

*Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!