Dad: Do you like when someone calls to sell you something or tries to pry a pamphlet into your hand and pressures you?
Me: No
Dad: What do you do?
Me: Hang up, close the door, cross the street..
Dad: Exactly. Noone wants to feel pressured. There is no happiness in pressure. There is no gain in pressure. It causes the opposite of what you ultimately want. You get the hard things, but you'd be better off understanding more of the simple things.
I sometimes journal on my blog and just think outloud, and some of that you've related to me has helped you and it also helps me. And sometimes, I say things that are straight forward and true. Things that through the course of history have not and will not change kind of truths. And this is one of those times: In a relationship there are only two ways-
*keeping your lives outside of each other full (hanging out with friends, doing your hobbies, spending time alone) OR
*not do that and split apart to get it back.
It becomes almost less heartbreaking if you split mainly because of this, because the loss of that time for yourself and not feeling free (which is so key to practice in a relationship) is so great a need, that you'd rather be without them to get it, than stay with them and not have it.You become angry and kind of numb to the emotions because you are so desperate to feel freedom. Hear this if you need to: keep your own seperate lives healthy and active and give that to each other!! Seriously. Don't let it break you up. You BOTH need it. Even if you are the one not giving it, you too are missing it in your life and you don't even know it. (Like me- blogging more, playing guitar more, getting up early for yoga, catching up with friends) Don't blame each other if you can if you've been through this, just try be gentle and explain it,understand and be better at it. Healthy way vs unhealthy way. 2 choices. You lose the fun and that's what you should be having together! Life is too short. Eventually, we all don't want to be 'alone' alone,( much different than 'alone time') and we all need to connect with someone eventually. It's about having freedom while having connection, I've been reminded of through some hard times. You don't want to kill beautiful moments and love shared, with memories of built up resentment. That is terrible. Go back to what you find beautiful in each other if you've built up any of these.Cherish understanding each other as friends and do what you would do for your best friend, as that's who they should be. Be happy just to see them happy -in moments with you and without you! I think more than love, respect is key. Sometimes I go through a lesson hardcore to really get it. :(
About Me
- *TRENNY*
- I'm Trenny and my philosophy is rather simple-I believe there are only 2 forces in this world, Love or Fear. My goal is to try to see things through the eyes of love, but I am fallible and do not always succeed. My professional career at the moment is that of a fashion stylist in New York,but my interests are varied. This blog is the like a blog ‘magazine/newspaper/journal', where I’ve combined all the elements of things that I love to learn through those mediums myself. Some life journaling, lots of music. A little health, natural product talk and recipe sharing. Random musings on life experiences, a little style, art and humour. Environment issues too as nature is our greatest gift. I hope it teaches you something, makes you laugh, or gets you interested in something different. If it fires you up,I welcome learning all different points of view. I hope that what I share, including my mistakes, encourages you. *In the end, I believe we are all each other's teachers, so whatever you might be inspired to say/share with me through this blog- good and bad- I fully welcome it. I learn just as much from you. Happiness and Love xoxo TrennyLynn - trennylynn@gmail.com
